再見了，博益「一本堂」

有的痛，並非受創一刻即能感受得到；然而這種痛，往往是傷得最深、最難撫平的一種痛。

Denzel 自友人處聽得博益要結業的消息，向貓求證。當時還奇怪坊間怎會流傳那樣的消息？這可是博益耶！本地最老最具規模的品牌之一，結業？怎麼可能！

沒想到下午便接到出版社編輯的電郵。

讀畢電郵，當下的感覺仍是難以置信 -- 真的嗎？

無論多理解博益停業是事實，可是思考短路了，一切都來得那樣不真實。

那一刻，好比人們吃飽了，可是飽足的感覺要經歷２０分鐘，訊息才能傳到大腦一般；所以收到博益停業的通知後，並不覺得特別震撼。

完了。不必再趕死線。不必再為寫小說徹夜不眠。終於可以在假日逛逛街或看一場電影．．．

是鬆一口氣？當真這樣想嗎？

是自己太喜歡寫，所以才會徹夜不眠地振筆疾書吧？誰也沒要求過作者週末淨躲在家中寫小說呀！誰又會為了那麼一丁點版稅奉上所有私人時間、精神體力，甚至健康？還不是因為真的喜歡寫！只要讀者一句喜歡，熬夜多辛苦也值得。

晚上跟編輯和幾位作者ｍｓｎ，不捨的感覺才漸漸湧上心頭 -- 已經出版的小說，一字一句，都是心血；筆下角色雖屬虛構，感情卻１００％真實，好幾次邊寫自己邊難過得哭了。

那些既熟悉又陌生的角色，陪伴我撐過許多個熬夜的晚上；發生在他們身上的事情純屬虛構，卻在構思情節與落筆之際，於腦海上演過千百遍．．．然而這些，都不再重要了，最少在博益母公司ＳＣＭＰ的眼中，毫不重要。

對於外間狠評博益，希望大家先弄清楚一點 -- 整件事裡，決策人是博益的母公司ＳＣＭＰ，並非博益待作者不公。

博益及其子公司「一本堂」是很出色的出版社，能跟他們合作，絕對是一種榮幸。感謝出版社給我很大的創作自由，謝謝編輯予我無限支持與包容。

博益用心搞出版，它為文化界所作出的貢獻毋庸置疑。試問有多少家出版社願意不斷投資新作者，並且給予他們最大的創作空間？

然而在母公司ＳＣＭＰ眼中，「博益」只是一盤生意，而不是那個陪伴香港文化界成長的名字。而一盤生意，即使在有盈餘的情況下，只要達不到公司所期望的盈收，仍逃不過停止運作的命運。

跟旗下作者解約、拒絕談洽回購版權、截至三月底仍沒售出的著作及存倉書籍一律銷毀．．．這些都是生意人的商業決策，可以理解；可以理解，但不能接受。

出版物是ＳＣＭＰ的資產，如何處置這批資產，決定權當然在ＳＣＭＰ，可是一貨倉的心血結晶，一夜間銷毀，這是作者所不能接受的。我們並不冀望ＳＣＭＰ把餘書贈予作者，只是與其銷毀，倒不如捐贈圖書館或學校，最少也有作為一本書的價值，可供人閱讀、流傳。

誠然，當中所涉及的物流、存倉及行政費用和耗時都是驚人的，我們也沒奢想過ＳＣＭＰ會負擔這筆費用。只要ＳＣＭＰ願意無條件捐贈餘書，相信有心人還是有的。不少前博益作者都願意充當義工，出錢出力籌組贈書，為甚麼就不能先徵求我們的意向？

還有就是版權問題，博益擁有不少作者的「永久版權」，包括已故的黃霑先生和林振強先生的著作。無論是新的舊的，已絕版還是正準備付印的，全屬作者心血，既然ＳＣＭＰ已宣佈放棄中文小說這個出版市場，因何拒絕作者回購版權的意願？狠狠把我們苦心經營的文字、角色和故事活埋？

這次銷書，銷毀的不僅是倉庫內的存書，而是坑殺了廿多年的文化產物。作為一家文化企業，ＳＣＭＰ是否應該拿出一點點社會責任？稍微考慮一下停業對本地文化界的打擊或影響？

做生意，帳目無疑重要，可是 business integrity 同樣不可或缺。試問有甚麼比由一家欠缺 business integrity 的機構報道真相來得更諷刺？

p.s. 如果你有喜愛的博益／一本堂作者，記緊在這期間購買他們的作品了，因為三月過後，ＳＣＭＰ便會把所有出版銷毀。

p.p.s. 贊同博益作者爭取版權的讀友可到以下網址聯署簽名支持：http://www.petitiononline.com/scmpbook/petition.html

p.p.p.s. 很抱歉原訂新年出版的新書《藍色初戀１７號》如今胎死腹中了，不過有可能會改為在網上連載，稍後再作公佈。

take it for granted

６：４０ｐｍ　竟收到社長來電，說他剛剛把稿件電郵了給貓。

社長彷彿己習慣了星期六／日才交稿，而且十分、相當、極之理所當然地認為貓勢必會留在家中２４小時 on standby，就為了隨時編輯他的稿件 -- 別忘了星期六／日可不是辦公日，貓並沒有責任留守家中等他的稿；即使碰巧在家，那也是「私人時間」，誰也沒義務替他辦公。

即使假日也得留守家中隨時候命？！You've gotta be kidding me！難道都不必上街？天底下哪有這麼便宜的事情，一個電話搖過來，２４ｘ７全天候工作的(而且每星期皆如此)？貓可不記得自己有簽過賣身契耶（￣□￣； ）!!!!

已好幾個月了，社長習慣得如此理所當然，理所當然得全不 appreciate 別人為他所做的，甚至毫不認為這對別人而言是一種麻煩和困擾。

要知道，世上並沒有甚麼是理所當然的。

工作如是，愛情也如是。

你可以揮霍別人的付出，但當早已透支的一方決定終止關係時，別問為甚麼。

是日(贈興)熱播：Happily Never After by Nicole Scherzinger

"I don't think I want this anymore,"
As she drops the ring to the floor.
She says to herself, "You've left before,"
"This time you will stay gone, that's for sure."

And he shattered something else
To drag her suitcase down the path,
To the driveway.
She had never gone that far.

Normally this would be
the time that she
would let him talk her out of leaving,
But this time, without crying,
as she got into her car, she said,

Chorus:
"No
'Happily Never After'
That just ain't for me.
Because finally,
I know
I deserve better, after all (ooooh)
I'll never let another teardrop fall."

As she drove away she starts to smile,
Realized she hadn't for a while.
No destination, she drove for miles
Wondering why she stayed in such denial.

She was laughing about the way he shattered something else
To drag her suitcase down the path,
to the driveway,
she had never gone that far
Normally this would be, the time that she
would let him talk her out of leaving, but this time, without crying,
as she got into her car, she said,

Chorus:
"No
'Happily Never After'
That just ain't for me
Because finally,
I know I deserve better
After all
I'll never let another teardrop fall."

I'm done, I'm done, said I'm so done,
I'm free, I'm free, so free
Free to feel the way I feel, yeah.

She inhales a breath she'd never breathed before
Don't want no drama no more.

'Cause she says " No
'Happily Never After'
That just ain't for me"

Chorus:
"I know
I deserve, better after all
I know I'll never let another teardrop fall"
"No
'Happily Never After'
That just ain't for me"
because finally,
I know I deserve better, after all
I'll never let another teardrop fall"

Said I'm done, I'm done, I'm done

Don't take it for granted, for one would certainly reach the point when enough is enough.

自從在【Gossip Girl】(ep. 10 "Hi, Society") 聽到拿來當配樂的"Apologize"後便愛上了這首歌，當時甚至不曉得歌名，幸好【Gossip Girl】對配樂選曲十分認真，除成立小組專門負責選曲，更與唱片公司合作，讓粉絲們可直接於網站購買或試聽歌曲，甚或直接購入幾位主角的 playlist ♪（≧∀≦）

OneRepublic Apologize
I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

不過貓還是最近才留意到"Apologize"的原唱與作曲原來是來自美國 Colorado 的搖滾樂隊 OneRepublic，而"Apologize"正是收錄在他們的首張專輯"Dreaming Out Loud"的第一主打。

"Apologize"由 OneRepublic 作曲，Timbalake 只是無意中聽到這首歌後決定與 OneRepublic 合作，拿這首本來就已很出色的歌製作 Remix 版本，搶先收錄在專輯"Presents Shock Value"。結果這首歌大熱，卻沒有多少人知道原唱是 OneRepublic......

Show business 便是這樣，即使再有才華，長得再好看、歌藝演技再超凡，沒觀眾緣或沒走運，就是紅不起來。

這個圈子，沒有公平或一分耕耘一分收穫這回事。但既是自己選擇的，就只好認真地幹，然後將餘下的交予命運之神。

What the hell......

是日奉旨陪社長到星島開會商議豬肉獎頒獎典禮事宜‧‧‧且還是５：３０ｐｍ才開始？What the......

還以為社長必會在駕車途中提出Ｅ辭職一事，沒想到全程他竟隻字不提！！！（￣□￣； ）!!!!

Ｅ畢竟是編輯部的重要生產力呀，難道社長認為沒有必要通知貓這個好歹也算是編輯部 team leader 嗎？是責任也好實際需要也罷，社長該不會以為單貓能獨自挑起整份報章ＩＴ版吧？！他該會不認為別家報社３－４個人負責的工作全推給貓吧？別說沒加薪，就是給貓雙倍工資也無福消受耶！(ノ `Д´)ノ

到底是環境使人變質，還是時間？

home sweet home

自從始創中心的ＩＫＥＡ關門大吉後，已許久沒跟貓男逛過ＩＫＥＡ了(淚)，逛ＩＫＥＡ可是我倆的一大樂趣呢！o(＞＜)o

(計劃中) 為防止ｋｕｒｏ＆ｔｏｒｏ竄進衣櫃，只好把原來的ＩＫＥＡ布簾門衣櫃換成木門的；然後為了節省空間，現時的睡床也計劃換成高架床(就是床板下的空間可以拿來改造成書房的那種床架)；此外還得換一張新書桌，好配合床架的尺寸)；然後再到無印良品選購組合櫃‧‧‧不過前題是要把東西雜物收拾好、髹上新油漆‧‧‧簡而言之，就是大掃除了(淚)

哪裡來的時間大掃除啊？！

結果逛了一個晚上，只買了一套碗碟、餐桌墊和食物包裝夾‧‧‧好想好想替貓公館來個"make over" o(＞＜)o

One more, please!

偶然下發現了這個同心童心當代藝術展，便決定要帶 Pink Positive 大隊來拍個夠，剛好這天下午提早完成訪問，便順道繞到中環大會堂來個連環快拍。

要不是這隻巨型的吹氣 Dongguri，貓肯定會錯過了這個名為"one more, please！ 同心童心"的當代藝術展

Dongguri 系列除了 character design 吸引，透明設計亦成功營造了獨特的 visual effect

Dongguri 的寵物(貓？)好可愛呢

Dongguri 簡單的黑與白可是指小朋友純真的內心世界，而彩色繽紛的花朵則象徵他們的童心？

簡單的線條與構圖，卻成功表現出跳脫的動感

天真爛漫的花花世界

同心童心 one more, please！２００７香港當代藝術展：

地點：香港大會堂
日期：13/12/2007～17/2/2008
時間：９ａｍ～１０：３０ｐｍ

看畢童心展，步伐也彷彿變輕鬆了

習慣低壓？

看中醫，量血壓，結果：88/68

醫師訝異問：妳血壓一向這麼低的嗎？

我：嗯，之前也曾有過血壓低的問題。早前在醫院天天量血壓，比這更低的也有(68/56！！護士還以為是儀器壞了，特地去找另一具來再量，結果還是一樣)。

醫師一臉不可置信：看來妳的身體已習慣了血壓低，一般人血壓像妳這麼低的話，早已失去工作能力，整天只覺頭暈甚麼也做不成了，可是妳看來卻很正常。

正常？(￣□￣+)

雖不怎麼頭暈，可是近日疲憊不堪，難以集中精神卻是事實。能如常工作，大抵不過是精神力過人，以意志逼使自己如常勞動而已(淚)。

病這回事，身體怎可能說適應了，便當它不存在一般？不過是逼不得已，硬撐著沒倒下去矣‧‧‧(．．。)

希望吃過藥，小心飲食，勤點運動，身體能漸漸好起來吧。

domestic violence？！

When I first read Elyse's LiveJournal in the dead of night, saying that she was abused by Marty, her (ex)boyfriend, I thought it's just another joke, coz there's a sense of humor in there (in a sarcastic way as always)...oh wait, what's it with her arm covered in bruises? So......it's true? The whole "my ex-boyfriend got shitfaced and roughed me up in a Sacramento hotel. I escaped from the room through a blitzkrieg of violence and talked to hotel security, who called the fuzz." thing actually happened?

I'm utterly shocked！

And Marty actually has the nerve to tell the cops PRESS CHARGES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST Elyse？！simply because he had a bite mark on his arm, inflicted in self-defense？！That's insane！ What a jerk！

Violence against women is the one thing that I despise most. How low could a man be to physically abuse someone he loves (or so he claims)？！

I was so sorry for Elyse. Being abused by someone you loved and trusted, and then being accused of domestic violence by the very same person who beat you up? That betrayal alone hurts far worse than any physical injuries. I couldn't imagine what a hard time she's having, all that I know is that it takes a really tough person to handle it so well -- fought back, refused to remain silent, dumped the guy who did not cherish, or even respect her in the least.

No one deserves to be abused, if you're in such a relationship, dump him and don't look back, he simply doesn't deserve you.

Give the greatest gift

這晚看 Discovery Channel 一個叫"Human Stories"的節目 -- 一個有關父親替彌留的女兒決定捐出器官，最終救回七條人命的真人真事。

美國有"Gift Of Life"捐贈計劃，香港也有。

已忘了填第一張器官捐贈證是甚麼時候了，好像是初中吧？彷彿是老師在課堂上給我們介紹這個計劃，然後貓便毫不猶豫地取了一張，填上資料，簽署，完成。

大概貓的思想比較洋化，不明白中國人死後要留全屍的堅持。人死了，器官留下來要不火化要不腐化，何不遺愛人間，讓本來已失去作用的器官救活仍有機會生存下去的人，延續它的價值？



器官捐贈證雖一直放在銀包內，但不知怎的還是磨得破破舊舊的，於是便換了一張「新」的(早已變舊了)，仍舊放在銀包內。

"Many devout people believe that God is the creator of all life and has given us bodies which, in a sense, are on loan to enable us to do good. One of the greatest gifts we can give when our body is no longer animated is to pass on the gift of God to another child of God. Our gift helps them to continue giving." -- Bishop Anthony G. Bosco

不論有宗教信仰與否，能夠拿自己用不著的去救活有需要的人，何樂而不為？

one small step

是日告假一天。

身體不適是原因一，不過最重要的，還是要為晚上的 phone interview 作好心理準備 -- 實在不想抱病回文字工廠趕稿趕至天昏地暗，然後對答時神不守舍不知所言。

這次 phone interview 對貓而言是個重要的決定，忽然想起 Neil Armstrong 的名句 "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind"；當然，貓的這個決定再重要，對人類而言是沒影響力的，只是它關係著貓以後要走的路。

希望這會是個好開始吧 o(^-^)o

冬日暖意

貓是怕冷的生物，冬天最愛捧著一枝熱騰騰的樽裝麥精維他奶，偶爾在半夜泡個雜菜杯湯。



這個冬天，貓有了新的至愛 -- 無印良品的南瓜濃湯 ♪（≧∀≦）

不過大概沒甚麼比情人的擁抱更能在寒風中帶來一絲窩心的暖意。

Wretched

Denzel 某日突然問貓「兜踎」的英文是啥（￣□￣； ）

說老實的，真被這突如其來的一問難倒。當時只想到"wretched"，不過後來細想，還是"pathetic"比較貼近「兜踎」的意思吧 (￣∇￣+)

每種語言均有其獨特之處，有的可直譯，有的可意譯，可是有的譯來卻形似神不似，失去了原文的神韻，「兜踎」一詞大抵便屬這一類。



這天離開文字工廠，經過鄰近的郵局，抬頭那張彷彿在匆忙中以牛皮膠紙歪歪斜斜地貼上的臨時「門牌」不知恁地很能給貓「兜踎」的感覺，活像一家早被人遺忘的夜冷店(汗)。

New Year Resolutions

Every year, on 1st Jan, I'd draft my "New Year Resolutions".

Rather than acting as objectives that I'd like to achieve in the coming year, my "New Year Resolutions" are more like an annual review of what I ought to have done over the past year -- what I planned to do but failed to put in action.

Well, looking back at last year's "New Year Resolutions", I figure out that I want pretty much the same things for this year, only that I gotta take better care of myself. Going through all that rare disease, antibiotic treatment and surgery stuff......I don't know, if there's anything that could make me live a healthier life, this is it.

So, just a few minor adjustments:

1) Quit procrastinating；
2) Better time management；
3) Stick to my deadlines；
4) Write at regular intervals；
5) Finish refining and renewing all fictions；
6) Enter a new journal entry every day；
7) Exercise；
8) Eat a healthier diet for the sake of my immune system；
9) Travel more；
10) Renovate my condo.

It's time to move on.